The Future Can Always Change

I suppose idealism has a downfall. I always like to distinguish the words "optimism" and "idealism" as two completely different things. Optimism is like a perspective that you switch on and off. If you are an optimist and things are going wrong, you will do your best to see the good in the situation. Optimism is a positive way of looking at one's life circumstances. Idealism is more ethical, if you will. It's when you look at a situation and say, "This is what it should be." In my mind, it has always been futuristic, sort of post-modern. I look at existence and think, "Surely, there has to be more than this." For this reason, I do not consider it a contradiction to be both an idealist and a pessimist. In fact, sometimes it makes more sense to be both. There would be no reason for idealism if bad things did not occur. There would be nothing to look forward to. Unfortunately, what my idealistic mind imagined five years ago as the future is now the present and it is a startling disappointment. I wonder if one's ideals can diminish to the point where they no longer exist. I have reason to stop hoping, but I never do. So, am I stuck in this endless cycle of ambition being born and then forcibly aborted? Or is this entire query simply reliant upon the decisions that I make and not predestination?