Abrasive Thoughts Cannot Linger

How long can silence last? I do not mean external noise, like car horns or crying children or barking dogs. I mean the internal sort of quiet. The kind where the mind goes blank, and the beating heart neither increases nor decreases in pace. When someone says "hello" or the radio is playing a song and you barely notice. How obvious is this? Do the eyes appear glazed or the face numb? Can one even notice it in one's own reflection? It's like an empty, abandoned train station. Every element is there, the tracks, the ticket booth, the waiting platform. All reminders of what once existed. Yet without the train, a station loses purpose, meaning, a logical reason. At which point does a demolition occur? The glass and metal and wood all turned to rubble in the blink of an eye. Some kind of merciful homocide. Or will the old place just sit waiting? Waiting for the people to return. Waiting for the blast from the train's horn. A spark of life, or a small lump of sympathy from passersby. This, after all, is the mind. An old, decrepit thing constantly waiting for reignition. Oh, there may occur some small event, a brief break from monotony when existence is made to seem worthwhile again. A smile, an acknowledgement, maybe even a conversation. And suddenly the mind is freed from its constraints, and the heart can thump with vivor and strength begins to grow. Then it is over. The smile, the acknowledgement, the conversation. Where else can one go but back down? When light is gone, what else could there possibly be but darkness? Light does not come from within, that is foolishness. Perhaps the world might gain some meaning when people learn to shoot light from their own ass. Until then, inside is just as dim as outside, and silence is all the more bitter when contrasted with the loud joy of surrounding parties.