Holiday Retail

Fact: people are meaner during the Holiday Season. They aren't just busier or more stressed, they simply wake up on December 1st with their hearts shrunk three sizes too small. Mean people don't know they are mean, because for truly cruel people, insensitivity comes naturally. The need for excessive shopping simply aggravates the existing condition, and these people tramp from store to store leaving a trail of emotional destruction behind them. Some of these shoppers find themselves adhering to a strange code of stupidity for no apparent reason. They will give themselves a two minutes time limit in the store, expecting you to ring them out in less than 5 seconds, and if you are unable to do this, they morph into ill-bred toddlers. Of course, this abrasive sort of behavior is nothing compared to the people who simply ignore you. Yes, I had the pleasure of discovering twice tonight how embarassing it is to have a customer muttering in what seems like your direction only to find out they are talking into their Bluetooth. Of course, as a clerk you are required to ask the customer a few questions, such as if someone assisted them, if they need gift receits, or how they plan on paying, etc. You would imagine people to be rather open to speaking to a person who is handling their credit card. It just seems logical. Then, at the end of the exchange, they finally look at you with this strange, grimace-like expression on their face, and whisper "Thank you". It takes everything within me not to mock their ridiculous attempt at politeness. Finally, and this is my personal favorite, you get the people who act like complete assholes and refuse to admit that they are joking with you. For instance, this evening I had two men ring out with me about 15 minutes before my shift ended. As you can imagine, I was a bit tired and my allotted amount of enthusiasm for the day was swiftly running out. Yet I mustered up a cheerful attitude and a friendly smile and set about to deactivating the sensors and ringing up their items. We had a fabulous discount for 30% off already marked-down merchandise, so don't you think most customers would be pleased with this? Well, the older gentleman started saying all this ridiculous crap like, why can't you discount the jeans? I'm like, because they are full price, sir. He's like, yeah, just run the discount anyway. I'm like, haha? He's like, do it, talk to the manager. He'll let me. I'm thinking, this guy is messing with me. I've seen it before. So, I ask him, are you kidding around with me? And he just stares at me. And the younger guy with him just stares at me with this obnoxious grin on his face. And I look to the younger guy for help, like, your grandfather is joking, right? Yet neither one of them offers a hint that they are, except once again, for the goofy smile on the younger dude's face. So, I just give up. Whatever. I put up with this old man's wise cracks and endless idiotic comments and try very hard to get them to take their bags and leave. Then as they try to walk out of the store, the alarm goes off, because apparently I forgot to remove one of the sensors. So, I'm pissed. I'm like, if these guys hadn't been distracting me, this wouldn't have happened. Problem is, no one can find the sensor. So, we keep telling them to go ahead and exit and not to worry about it. But it happens again, and they come back and I'm about ready to blow my brains out. Each time they come back they make another snide remark and part of me thinks, "I deserve this." Another part of me thinks, "You guys can go get hit by a bus for all I care." Then I realize, I'm becoming a jerk just like them, and that makes me even angier. Finally, they leave peacefully, and I gossip for about five minutes with another clerk about how awful they were. This makes me feel better, justified somehow, and I gratefully went to clock out and return the next day with a renewed dose of holiday cheer.